The Depression Hope Center

User Name*Carol’s Story

admin — Mon, 26 Mar 2012 18:51:20 +0000

Hi,my name is carol I’m 28 years old and a long relationship with depression,anxiety,panic attacks and insomnia.
I am so desperate to feel normal,happy,healthy,content and not have to keep numb my feelings with drugs forever.
My dad died when I was 13years old,and he was my everything,my mom was never a mom,couldn’t care any less.My dad and I would do everything together,and he loved me so much,we had such a strong connection.the day he passed away I was supposed to be with him but I was 10 minutes late and he had already left.
There is a lot more to this story,but I will try to keep it short.My mom went to the hospital and called me saying that my dad was getting the discharged papers and coming home….about 2 hours later I found out that he had been dead since the car accident….she gave me a false happiness and took it from me in a minute…it was like I could no longer breathe,I was screaming,couldn’t stand up,sit or lay down.That was the beginning of my hell.
My dad owned famacies in Brazil,so everytime I cried,my mom would medicated me so she wouldn’t have to deal with my emotions.Its been almost 16 years since my hero was taking from me,and not one day goes by that I don’t think of him,his face,his voice….he was funny too! I have cut myself to release the emotional pain,I have serious panic attacks and anxiety since then. I have tried Zoloft, Prozac, lexapro, Xanax, buspar, celexa, clonazepam, depakote, trazadon, lamictal, Seraquel, Effexor. I am very sensitive to any meds,I always get the side effects…
I don’t drink,never did any street drugs,no overdose.
I am beyond sad,my anxiety won’t allow me to sleep,and if I do, I woke up more tired than when I went to bed. i feel bad about myself, my ex husband used to physically abused me, I grew up alone, my mom never talked with me about sex, drugs, relationships or the way I felt about my dad. i don’t feel loved, I miss my dad way too much….I also have restless leg syndrome. I’m begging for help, I’m done waking up sad.
I recently broke up with a boyfriend and I blame all on me because he is such an amazing person, who never hurt me. Im also struggling big time with money…. last night I cried till 3am panicking…. I’m afraid to be alone, afraid my grandparents will die…. I could go on forever with my problems. And my mom stole 30,000 from my savings account the money I worked so hard to save so I could finished my education.

Mark Wilson’s Story

admin — Mon, 26 Mar 2012 18:47:05 +0000

I submitted my story with you some time back, love the new layout of the site, and wanted to do a follow up. Since recovering from depression, I’ve written dozens of articles on family life, mental illness and general topical issues. I’ve collected these in an eBook called ”Paddy’s Daddy” which is available free for the next 24 hours on amazon.com

http://www.amazon.com/Paddys-Daddy-ebook/dp/B007ODTM3M/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1332759393&sr=8-1

and Amazon UK:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Paddys-Daddy-ebook/dp/B007ODTM3M/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1332759435&sr=8-1

I’ve found that people have responded well to hearing of my 25 year battle with depression, and as I benefitted from others’ stories during my recovery, the least I could do was share my own story. Since recovering, I’ve also written a fictional novel ”Bobby’s Boy” and have started my second novel.

I hope you can help share my story.

Email: paddysdaddy@gmail.com
www.paddysdaddy.com

LFran’s Story

admin — Mon, 26 Mar 2012 18:46:02 +0000

My name is Lisa. I was quite young when I first noticed that I felt sad and fearful all the time. I didn’t know what it was until around age 13, my Health teacher began to discuss ”depression” and that’s when I knew ”it” had a name. It was scarier after that for some reason. I have been through an awful lot in my lifetime and most of the bad choices I’ve made were caused by my need for relief from my depression. Drugs, bad relationships, etc. I am now happily married with one son and two stepdaughters. I am currently looking into TMS for my depression. I would love to hear from anyone who has had it. I’m afraid to spend all that money to find that I am one of the unlucky people that it doesn’t help. Insurance won’t cover it. It sounds very interesting and I’d give anything to get off the antidepressants I’ve been on for 32 years of my life. If anyone feels comfortable talking to me about their TMS experience, please do so. My e-mail is L.Franchini@verizon.net.
Thank you.
Lisa

Brianne95973′s Story

admin — Mon, 19 Mar 2012 19:09:19 +0000

My name is Brianne. I am 30 years old and a wife, mother of 3 wonderful boys and 1 beautiful daughter. They are ages 11, 10, 5 and 3. My daughter is the youngest of all of them.
Depression has been affecting my life for a very long time. I honestly cannot remember a time that I haven’t been battling depression. It really takes a toll on my life. It takes almost everything I can to get out of bed. I just want to cover my head with the blanket and sleep the day away. I am easily irritated and I stress over the little things. My daughter will often ask me are you cranky right now? It’s sad.
I have tried so many medications and nothing has worked completely. I have been on Zoloft for quite a while and it has gotten me through but I am just not truly happy. I really want to be happy.
Four days ago, I started the TMS therapy. This weekend has been tough because I have been without treatment for 2 days. I am looking at this being a good sign that the TMS therapy is working.
If anyone has any suggestions and comments, I’d me more than happy to hear them.

dendal’s Story

admin — Mon, 19 Mar 2012 19:06:29 +0000

Depression and severe anxiety have crippled me. I’ve had depression since about the age of 14 and panic attacks (in private only) since the age of 32. I have tried so much and so hard to fight myself and to become a better, productive person, but it now seems my battle is being lost. Multiple medications have not helped and even made me more fearful because some have !!HORRIFIC!! side effects. I’d hope to receive TMS but cannot pay for it…

Pamela’s Story

Editor — Tue, 28 Feb 2012 21:16:50 +0000

I am 50 years old and working as a personal care attendant. I love plants, gardening, and arts and crafts. I sing and play the piano, organ, and flute. I experienced my first episode of depression in 1986 and have had around seven episodes, all ranging anywhere from 1 to 6 years. My depression alienated me and made me feel isolated from the people that love and care about me the most. I lost a job because of it. I was desperate to find relief and am grateful for the love and caring attitude of Dr. Uspensky and his nurse, Lisa. My happiness and life was at stake and I knew I needed help and was looking at the possibility of ECT. TMS allowed me to continue with my life with little disruption to my daily activities. I began to notice a change during the fourth week of treatment. I began to get a handle on my thoughts. I have been able to live again and life has become enjoyable for me. NeuroStar was different for me because I got better much quicker than previous attempts at getting over my depressive episodes.

bwalk’s Story

admin — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 18:52:40 +0000

I have suffered with depression for many years. Actually, I think I had postpartum depression that wasn’t treated after the birth of my first child 22 years ago!!! My doctor and I believe I actually suffer from bipolar disorder, although I’ve been treated for depression. I’m going to be started on, probably, Lithium next month. I am 49 years old and I feel I have lost a sense of who I really am as a person. I have legal issues now that you would expect from maybe someone half my age. I shoplifted a bottle of carpet shampoo worth less than $20.00 which I had the money in my purse as well as store credit that would have more than covered the purchase. I have no idea why I did it. It is definitely not my nature. I know others consider me a good Christian woman and a mother who loves her family with all her heart,but what I feel now is very empty inside, not knowing what’s happening in my life. BTW, my older daughter is an honor’s student in college and my younder daugher (13) is a very caring, thoughtful young woman. I don’t feel like a good example for them.

stateman1038′s Story

admin — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 18:18:52 +0000

I am 48 and have just seemed to lose my desire to do the things that I used to enjoy doing. My job is extremely stressful and alot of my days are spent agonizing about how much I hate my job. I am at the point that I think death may be better then this. I think about it often. I have been married for 23 years and I have two grown sons. I love them and I wish I did not have these feelings but I can’t seem to shake them.

Jen’s Story

Editor — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 18:20:33 +0000

I’ve dealt with depression for a very long time. I believe my depression started as a kid after my parents divorced. For a long time I didn’t know what it felt like to be normal. I was always taken to therapists as a kid and always on different meds. It really started to get bad in high school. As more was expected of me as I grew up it got to be a struggle.

I was hospitalized for my depression at one point and I had suicidal thoughts. I never got to the point where I’d actually do something but I wanted to. For the past couple of years I had been seeing my therapist who I was very close to. Before I saw her, I was having trouble dealing with some health conditions and really not doing well.

I saw a Psychiatrist, was on a few different meds, and I was just feeling dull. Like I didn’t have feelings and was just “blah”. I felt more fatigued and after two years my therapist had found out about TMS from Dr. Perera. My therapist was trying to convince me to give it a shot and I was skeptical at first. Then, I began researching it.

I got to the point where it felt like it was one thing after another and I just felt stuck. I was seeing this same pattern for years and I finally decided to just give up. I was having suicidal thoughts again and I ended up calling my therapist while I was driving and told her I just couldn’t take it anymore. I just wanted it to end. It was either: go back to the hospital, or try NeuroStar TMS Therapy.

My stepdad has been a strong influence in my life and I am so thankful for him. He put out the effort to help me and has really pushed me to get TMS.

It really is a commitment to yourself… And what better commitment is here? TMS saved me. The support I got from my doctor, the assistants, my therapist, everything. TMS doesn’t just change you like that, it takes time. But now I’m awake and ready to take on anything. The old Jen would want to just hide, stay under my comforter all day, lay in bed – I didn’t want to deal with anything or anyone. I feel more than anything that NeuroStar TMS Therapy has given me the courage to move forward and take on each day. I have the energy and confidence now. It has opened my eyes.

mytwochildren’s Story

admin — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 17:08:25 +0000

I was married for 24 years when my wife divorcd me.I was devestated and to this day cannot get over it.We have two children who were 8 and 11 at the time of the divorce.I was a very loving father.Unfortunately my wife brainwashed and turned the children against me.When my older son turned 18 he cut off all contact from me.My depression started when my wife filed for divorce.Before my depression I use to travel,jog,play with the kids,work,and enjoy being a family man.Now I have no interest in anything at all.I feel physically sick all the time as if I am dying.I feel very weak and tired all the time.I hate being awake and look foward to going to sleep at night,usually by 7 pm.I sleep 11 hours per night and have very vivid and disturbing dreams.I have tried so many different combinations of anti depressants and nothing works.I went for a TMS consultation but was told that medicare does not cover it.I cannot afford it.The cost is $8,000.I feel that I will never get better.On top of the depression I suffer from OCD and bad anxiety problems.I feel hopeless,worthless and scared all the time.I can only pray for a miracle.