I’m a 44 year old black female who has had depression her entire life. I was diagnosed with depression in my mid 20s and have been treated for it since then. I was put on just one antidepressant initially and over the years of juggling and testing, I now am on 2 mood stabilizers and 2 antidepressnts. None of which seem to work at this time. I get my most depressed in the winter (SAD) and get relief around March/April. The seasonal depressive episode I had in late 2008 has never lifted for any length of time.
In late 2009 I opted for ECT. I was so desperate for a cure, I’d do anything. After 10 trials of unilateral ECT I saw no improvement. After another 10 trials of bilateral ECT there was still no relief. So doctors (who I know are doing the best they can) have been testing me on many combinations of things.
Lack of energy and no motivation-it’s a chore to brush teeth, shower, etc; hypersomnolence; weight gain; low, low, low self-esteem; feelings of worthlessness, excessive guilt; poor, poor concentration are my primary symptoms. I am not suicidal, although sometimes I just wish I could sleep and never wake up again. I’ve never tried to kill myself. I have had suicidal ideation in the past, however.