I am a middle aged woman who has been fighting depression for 15 years. It seems to have gotten worse. I was 24 years when my whole life was changed . I ended up having a hyst. done. I have always wanted a big family. And now I will never be able to. I used to look at babies and cry. I even have a nephew that was born at the same time this happened and I spent years regreating him. The depression has took over my life. I can not let any close to me. Afraid I will hurt them. I have had a wall up for so long, I do not know what is on the other side. I can not consentrate on anyhing. I can not sleep at night. I do not enjoy life like
I use to. I want to to enjoy life with someone. But because I can not let anyone close to me I am alone,. I sit in my house all alone day after day, night after night. Spend holidays alone.
I have gone to the dr for this, been put on medication after medication. Nothing seems to be working. I feel my head is about to explod and there is nothing I can do. I have gone to thearpy. I feel it helps for about 24 hours and back to very depressed. I need someone to let me know is there hope? Is there a way for me to climb to the top and see light and what is on the other side of this wall. I am tired of being alone. I want to share my life with someone. But I need to get my life under comntrol in order to do that. Can any one help me??TOday of all days is a bad day for me. I just want to go home and crawl intop bed and not get up