I am 48 and have just seemed to lose my desire to do the things that I used to enjoy doing. My job is extremely stressful and alot of my days are spent agonizing about how much I hate my job. I am at the point that I think death may be better then this. I think about it often. I have been married for 23 years and I have two grown sons. I love them and I wish I did not have these feelings but I can’t seem to shake them.
What you are feeling is parallel in some aspects to what I have gone through. I have been working through the feelings with proclaiming positive thought such as: “God, you want me to be happy and healthy.” and then I think of things I can be thankful for and I give thanks for my children, for the job I have at this present time to feed myself and keep me going (even the one I might hate), for the good things in my life, I look for maybe five or ten things. I force myself to exercise, I take antidrepressants, I do things to relax my weary body and soul, I try to smile and listen to and tell some jokes perhaps, possibly this is a time for some help from a Mental Health Counselor. Use Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Demonstrations can be found on Utube. Prayer. Work on it and it can change.
After being discharged as a patient by my ex-psychiatrist who had prescribed me through the PDR of SSRI’s, anti-anxiety meds, SSRI boosters like Abilify, in different dosages and combinations with no success, because he was not helping me and did not know what else to do, I was referred to a regional University medical group where I found help. Have you consulted with a group that provides electro-convulsive therapy (ECT)? Please educate yourself about ECT, which has a proven track record with those who have had treatment resistant depression. Blessings!