Depression Story By: Debbie

I’ve pretty much had depression since I was a child. I had separation anxiety in elementary school and its basically followed me throughout my life in variant degrees. My first depressive episode was when I was 35 – I was hospitalized for 30 days. That was when I first began taking antidepressants and it’s been over 20 years that I’ve been on them. And then I just hit a wall – my doctor and I were discussing new options and changing them again. NeuroStar TMS Therapy came along at the perfect time because I started to feel like my options were running out. It felt like medication was putting a band-aid on my depression. I came to realize that this wasn’t my fault and I just needed help. I brought up the idea of NeuroStar TMS Therapy with my doctor and he said he would be offering it in the next few weeks so I knew this was meant for me. I had done my homework and learned all about it and I knew it was right for me.

It has been a wonderful experience – everyone has been wonderful and caring through this whole process. They genuinely want me to get better. After about a week and a half I really started to feel different. I felt like I was alive – like the veil had been taken off of my eyes. I could see clearly and colors were brighter. Every day it gets better and better. Even though life still happens it is so much easier to deal with things… I don’t want to crawl under a table anymore. My house is cleaner. I want to see people, and don’t want to be by myself like I used to. Everything looks and feels different – like before I was a robot going through the motions. I truly believe if it wasn’t for the meds I wouldn’t be functional at all. But the meds took me to that final level where I could function but I wasn’t living.

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6 Responses to “Debbie’s Story”

  1. Colleen C. Johnson on February 1st, 2012 10:46 am

    I read your story and watched your video. I had TMS treatments a year ago. My story is very similar to yours. Depression all of my life and now in full remission. I would just like to connect with someone who has experienced and is experiencing life not being depressed after experiencing a life-time of depression. It is an amazing and unique experience. It is so exciting and I would like to connect with someone who can relate. If you are interested please let me know. I am not sure that this site accommodates this type of request but its worth my effort to try. I am not sure where else to connect with someone who has a similar background. If we cannot connect, your story is articulated well such that it is inspiring! Thanks

  2. tammy mitchell on February 19th, 2012 7:46 am

    i too have suffered from mdd, major deppression, most of my life, i have suffered endlessly, i am now to the point of being med resistant. well i have been for some time now. i am almost suicidal. if i cant afford this treatment, i dont know what i am going to do.

  3. Debbie on March 18th, 2012 10:39 am

    Hi, I have been suffering from Depression for more than 30 yrs. and recently hospitalized for this disease due to trying to commit suicide. I have been on so many different meds to no avail. I am desperate to feel good. I now currently take 3 different anti-depressants and they do not seem to be working.
    I am seriously considering TMS as I have seen it on the Dr. Oz show just wondering what the cost for these treatments are. Any info. anyone can provide would be greatly appreciated.

  4. Tamara on June 26th, 2012 7:42 pm

    Hi Deb, been depressed since age 15. Untreated for many years. Now I am 51 and still single. I feel it is due to the isolation I crave when feeling down. TMS is something I looked into but am always a skeptic. Tell me truly that it works. Thank you.

  5. Pat on March 23rd, 2015 10:55 am

    Tamara, My mother-in-law remarried at 80; a dear friend did so at 60. My brother married for the first time at 57. All of these people were more or less chronically unhappy and/or lonely (walking wounded with and without antidepressants). Now they are more content, and their sorrows connect them to people rather than isolating them as before. Like you I withdraw and have done so periodically since I was a child. In both work- and social- situations I have sudden attacks of shyness and all of a sudden I can’t speak or I stutter. When I confided, to my husband and close personal friends, that this happened to me, I felt so much better. Humor helps a lot. The reason I was able to marry at 28 years old was that the culture of the 60s supported pairing off in marriage only. The rules were clear, so we had to make it work. I will never regret pushing myself out of my shell, as painful as it was and sometimes still is. I have to renew my resolve to get out with friends and family periodically and have come to take some pride in my own courage. It is often hard but always as the evening progresses I enjoy myself. I don’t know you but I imagine I do because of your letter. I am praying for you in the Quaker way, holding you in the light.

  6. Dena on July 29th, 2016 12:44 pm

    I also have suffered terrible, horrid depression/ anxiety since I was about 10 years old and I’m turning 60 next week. It’s robbed my family and me of who I am inside somewhere. I JUST started TMS this past Monday and I know not to expect change right away, but I am claiming this will be my miracle. Like others, I just want life to get over with, everything is so hard and I can’t fake it anymore, but I have people that need me, I live alone, I can’t handle being with people, the anxiety and apathy are too hard. If this doesn’t work, I have no idea how I’ll manage to live. It’s terrible, no one SEES how awful this affliction is, so you fake it and act like you’re normal, so doctors don’t even take you seriously. The shame, oh my gosh, we all the know the guilt and shame we feel for being depressed, I wish they’d find a new name for it, like Zombie disease! I hope to have amazing story to tell….. I am Praising God for giving me the courage to spend the money, that hurt, close to 6k but insurance is covering the rest, they say. Now that I found this site I will come when I have more time to read other stories!

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